Tuesday, December 9, 2008

ducks quack, Eagles fly..

Years ago, my friend, Harvey Mackay, told me a wonderful story about a
cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at
the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was
that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white
shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver
jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for
Harvey .

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: "I'm Wally, your driver.
While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement:
"To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and
cheapest way possible in a friendly environment." This blew Harvey
away, especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the
outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said,
"Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of

My friend said jokingly, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink." Wally smiled
and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet
Coke, water and orange juice." Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll
take a Diet Coke." Handing him his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like
something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports
Illustrated and USA Today."

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated
card. "These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd
like to listen to the radio."

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air
conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.
Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that
time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell
him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with
his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," my amazed friend asked the driver, "have you always
served customers like this?"

Wally smiled into the rearview mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's
only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent
most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I
heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had
just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said
that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll
rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate
yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks
quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'"

"That hit me right between the eyes," said Wally. "Dyer was really
talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to
change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other
cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were
unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some
changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I
did more."

"I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said. "It sure has,"
Wally replied. "My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the
previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to
get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for
appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering
machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend
to do it and I take a piece of the action."

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab.
I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the
years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to
their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like
ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop
quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

So, what are you?


Friday, December 5, 2008


A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted,
puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later, when he opens the freezer he finds the parrot sweating.
"How come you are sweating?" he asks
The parrot replies "Do you know how f*cking hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"

Thursday, December 4, 2008

What We Need?

During the so-called "new society" of the late
President Ferdinand Marcos, one of the most
often-quoted lines is: "Sa ikauunlad ng bayan,
disiplina ang kailangan." Literally, it means that if
we want this country to improve, we need discipline.

If only, at that time, Filipinos followed this mantra,
the Philippines would have been out there already!
Look at Singapore now! In a speech delivered during a
recent graduation at Silliman University in Dumaguete,
Menardo G. Jimenez Jr. informed that during a
leadership conference in Singapore, Prime Minister Lee
Kuan Yew shared how he built Singapore from nothing to
where it is today.

Right now, Singapore is a showcase of Asia without
poverty, without the overcrowding, or space. It is
certainly Asia without dirt. "In many ways, Singapore
is the perfect place for the newcomer to Asia," wrote
one travel author. "It is like an Asian showhouse."

In his speech, Jimenez said: "He shared that
Singapore, barely a generation ago, was far worse than
many of its peers. But today, it is an economic
superpower. When he first started to lead Singapore,
he asked his think tank to visit neighboring (Asian)
countries like the Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam,
Laos, and Cambodia, and figure out what they don't
have. He said they all came back with one conclusion:
These countries lacked discipline. So to differentiate
Singapore from its neighbors, he decided to build his
country on discipline."

Jimenez, senior vice-president of the retail business
group of the Philippine Long Distance Telephone,
explained what discipline really meant: "This meant
that if Singapore promised something to its people, to
its foreign investors, and to other countries, it will
be fulfilled. A disciplined country and a disciplined
people-that's what he built Singapore on."

"He who lives without discipline dies without honor,"
said an Icelandic proverb. George Washington, the
first American president, noted: "Discipline is the
soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable,
procures success to the weak, and esteem to all."
David Campbell pointed out: "Discipline is remembering
what you want."

"Nothing of importance is ever achieved without
discipline," comments Bertrand Russell. "I feel
myself sometimes not wholly in sympathy with some
modern educational theorists, because I think that
they underestimate the part that discipline plays. But
the discipline you have in your life should be one
determined by your own desires and your own needs, not
put upon you by society or authority."

Film actor Clint Eastwood knows to well: "It takes
tremendous discipline to control the influence, the
power you have over other people's lives." Immanuel
Kant believes: "Man must be disciplined, for he is by
nature raw and wild."

An unknown author once penned: "Discipline, like the
bridle in the hand of a good rider, should exercise
its influence without appearing, to do so; should be
ever active, both as a support and as a restraint, yet
seem to lie easily in hand. It must always be ready to
check or to pull up, as occasion may require; and only
when the horse is a runaway should the action of the
curb be perceptible."

If you want to be successful in life, practice
discipline. "If you want to reach your goals and
dreams, you cannot do it without discipline," Jimenez
said in his speech. He cited the case of one of his
god friends, Fred Uytengsu, president of Alaska milk.

"I used to see him on the baseball field when he used
to coach his son's team and I was an assistant for my
son's team. One day, I saw him wearing a shirt that
said, 'If you don't have discipline, you don't deserve
to dream.' No matter how harsh it may seem, the point
is true.

"If you're 350 pounds overweight and you're dreaming
to become the next big hunk, but you don't have the
discipline to watch what you eat, to exercise, and to
make it happen, it isn't going to happen. Don't even
bother dreaming, if you don't have the discipline to
make it a reality. You'll just get frustrated. That's
how important discipline is in achieving success."

Discipline is defined in the world of business as
"work ethic." To drive his point, Jimenez shared an
anecdote from Thomas Alva Edison, a great man who
epitomized what work ethic is all about. "At the age
of 82, the President of the United States said it was
about time he was honored with an award for his
lifetime work. So they put together a huge event in
honor of the inventor.

"Being 82, he felt a bit sick that night and fainted.
Good thing they were able to revive him and he was
still able to go up on stage. Edison upon accepting
the award simply said, 'I am tired of all this glory.
I want to get back to work.' Eighty-two years old,
and all he can think of is going back to work. That is
work ethic. That is discipline,'" Jimenez said.

But are Filipinos disciplined people? Let me give you
an idea. In 2000, when I went to the United States
for the first time, I was surprised to see people
forming a queue when the attendant told us that they
were already boarding passengers from numbers 51 to
65. Sure enough, only those with seats being called
were in the line. The same thing happened when other
numbers were called. I observed that most of the
passengers were foreigners - either Japanese or
Americans. There were some few Filipinos, too.

It was a different story when I returned home. I was
at the airport in Detroit and there were many
passengers. Most of us were bound for Manila. When
one of the attendants announced that boarding would be
started - most of the passengers rushed toward the two
assigned attendants. "Sir, we are boarding only those
from 51 to 65," the attendant explained. "And yours is
24C." The male passenger replied, "I am first here.
So, allow me to board first!"

The scene looked like I was in Davao boarding a flight
going to Manila. To think of, we were still in the
United States and those Filipinos who rushed thought
they were already in the Philippines. How rude and
how uneducated of them. And the foreigners? Well,
they were at the far back, waiting for their numbers
to be called!

I learned later on that Filipinos wanted to go first
because they had so many hand carries. Instead of the
accepted two hand carries per person, they had four or
more. If they went first, they could put them in the
compartment allowed for hand carries. With such kind
of traits, do you think Filipinos are disciplined

If you drive, don't drink. If you drink, don't drive.
So goes a familiar adage. But I know a lot of
Filipinos who do both. If they are caught, they don't
give their driver's license. Instead, they pay the
cops money. That's bribery but I know also of some
policemen who want to be bribed. Except for a few of
them, though.

Why Filipinos are not disciplined people? The reason
is that most parents don't teach their children this
trait. The Bible urged: "Chasten thy son while there
is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying"
(Proverb 19:18). Here's another: "Do no withhold
discipline from a child; if you punish him with the
rod, he will not die" (Proverb 23:13).

A Chinese philosopher said, "Parents who are afraid to
put their foot down usually have children who step on

And yes, if we want to move as a country to greater
heights, we have to have discipline. We lack
discipline and that's what we need.

Monday, December 1, 2008

proud to be a "filipino".

A Filipino, a German and a Pakistani got arrested
consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi
Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all
sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik
announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and
she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before
your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while
and then said:"Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes
& the German had to be carried away bleeding and
crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German
in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to
my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the
Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Filipino was the last one up, but before he
could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
"You are from one of most beautiful part of the world
and your culture is one of the finest in the world.
For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,"
the Filipino replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is
that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful
man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an
admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And
what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Filipino
smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

men get even..

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." "WHAT!?" says her husband. The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide.He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes worth $200 each.
The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn't care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The husband says "You don't even play tennis, but if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says to her husband, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cashier."
The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "Honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode as her husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

Sunday, November 23, 2008

guess my age

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent Php5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.

After that she went into McDonalds for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."

"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.

While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."

There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.

After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."

Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dating Process

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself hehehe...